Let Me Sing My Song

17 mei 2010

2010-05-17T16:04:00.003+08:00

uda 2010. gw masi bingung blog yang gw pake sbnernya yang mana & yg plg penting.. gw lupa smua passwordnya..
=.=' barusan gw tlp emak gw.. gara2 gw stress bljr macropolicy. ini pljrn bner2 amit2 & gw gak ngerti sama skali. gw jugak gak ngerti knp lecture gw mesti bolak balik thailand & slalu ganti kelas tutor gw seenak jidat. intinya, buat midtest rabu besok, gw baru bljr 3chapter, dan gw agak menyerah. darisitu gw berinsiatif tlp emak gw untuk mengakui kebegoan gw.. gw blg.. "ma, ada 1pljran di skolah susah bgt, kalo gak lulus gpp ya".. emak gw: "yaudah gpp.. santai aja."
JEDENG!
ini dimana saatnya gw bersyukur punya emak kayak emak gw! HHAHAHAHHAAHA
uda jam 4 sore aja. kpala gw pusingggg bgt & gak bersemangat. i dont like monday. mana bsk lecture jam 8 lagi! grr. bete!! !#$%$#@!!#%^&*(

no title

2009-09-29T12:33:00.002+08:00

it's sunny day. i close every curtain tightly. now it's dark. i don't want to go anywhere today. im laying down with espn on tv, critics by critics, judging by judging i received, i'm tired of it. i have broken heart so i dont want to listen to another hard words. i just want to be alone.. sleep the whole day, and hopes everything gonna be better. i will laugh later when i heard something funny, if not, it's just too bad,,

love

2009-09-27T12:48:00.002+08:00

every second past.. i become stronger woman. somehow. even i must past hard time alone. somehow when i simply scared of lightning when hard rain comes, i can't hold anyone. i can't said 'I'm scared' to anyone. because those anyone just busy for their own interest. everyone has their own interest. because of those loneliness, i'm not sensitive to others feeling, because deep in my heart, i just think that i have worst than yours. sometimes i feel that i've mentally ill. because no love surrounding me.. that's why now i know, how important love to be there in your heart everyday.. every hours.. every minutes.. every seconds you live..

beda bahasa?

2009-09-27T12:11:00.002+08:00

medan oh medan.
i'm struggling with hokkien. everytime i heard that dialect i just can't understand. well, since Medanese speak hokkien in almost every occasion. They tend to forget Bahasa. then they speak bahasa in funny style..

balik buku.. balik halaman >>>>> helai buku..
mie pangsit >>>> mie fangsit
eskalator >>>> tangga berjalan
bell istirahat >>>>> bel main - main
gimana sih? >>>>> macem mana?
dll.. bnyk yg gw lupa..

so.. i don't know how i stop laugh when i heard those weird words. haha.

guilty yet happy

2009-09-23T00:38:00.002+08:00

aku stress berat. soalnya main terus. makan terus di pira. trus ngrasa males n gak maksimal sama komitmen assignment n belajar nya.. tapi blm tlambat buat brubah! masi ada waktu buat bljr! sooo.. keep optimistic! ehehe
love people surrounding me. love nature. and family! love just makes you perfect! hehe
somehow, lo gak bakal tau, sbrapa lo sayang orang lain sampe lo jauh dari mereka. well, itu yang gw rasain ke parents, edu, n tmn2 gw. mreka berarti aja buat gw. motivator lebih tepatnya. karena (Mama esp.) gw bner2 brusaha buat bljr sungguh2. simply gw mo banggain mreka. maybe i'm not perfect, but at least i'm trying.

aku salah ahir2 ini, buang waktu sia2 untung having fun yg kelewat batas. now it's time to take responsibility and be stronger. berjuang buat ksalahan kmrn dan perbaiki nilai! love God with all of my heart, as well as to my fam, edu, and friends. GOD BLESS ME! AMEENN!!

lunch break

2009-09-17T14:41:00.003+08:00

HALLO! blog ini LIVE! dari library monash. haha. well, i do nothing here, after doing 1 of a bunch of assignments i feel that i deserve to write blog and open facebook. haha. yeah this sem is ssoooo unbelievable. tougher. crazier. smuanya deh. lebih susah. lebih bikin stress. blom lagi gw yang super menggendut skarang. haha.
sekarang mungkin gw harus jadi orang yg baru, dengan spirit dan smangat yang baru juga. i mean.. perhaps this the best time to change everything. sometimes, we need to step out from our comfort zone. well, this what i'm trying to do now.. beeccaauussee.. no one need me now. so i stand alone in this big world. i'm fully responsible to my life, i take every chance and put that in my list. i do my best and i will shine. hahaha. well. at least i have dream okay, =)
i pray to God, may He kill every bad things in my life, prosper my day, and please makes me strong each day.. don't forget to gives me a reason to smile each minutes.
i'm not happy because i'm single. maybe to let go is the right way to say i love you (at least that sentence is quite appropriate for my situation). i'm happy cause may be he will better without me. i'm happy because.i i should be happy. if i'm sad, then everything will be bad. nothing will be better.
olrite. time to go to class. ttyl.

..

2009-09-16T23:35:00.002+08:00

God.. tell me. which is right.. and which is wrong?

i'm confused everything in this world.. love.. life.. and religion.. God, i feel emptiness, can't feel anything. can't cry.. can't think clearly. may You talk to me, give me the way. i can't breathe God. i love him, but i can't do nothing, except let him happy. God, am i bring sorrow to him? am i that bad? i did something wrong? why i can't feel that? why can't i notice that? am i that innocent? or am i that dumb? hmm. this heart is like dust. still there but.. shapeless. i even don;t know what i need now.. what i want.. i feel empty. yess.. i feel empty.

brunch.

2009-09-15T12:23:00.002+08:00

i did nothing yesterday. it was sleeping day :)

setelah sekian lama kurang tidur karna berkutat dgn assignment, finally kmrn puass tidur. tapi krn terasa janggal hidup tanpa assignment, pas tidur gw jadi gak tenang. mikirin.. ada assignment buat besok gak ya? ada assignment yg gw lupa bikin ga ya? ggrr. assignment minded drive me crazyyyy.. well. hari ini uda mulai msk skolah lagi. as usual. i'm hungry now! makan duluu.. =))

i need super big brunch! nyaam.

renungan malam

2009-09-13T22:12:00.002+08:00

barusan cowo' berinisial 'J' nyari masalah ke vonny. aku jadi mikir.. kenapa kadang orang suka post 'REALLY PRIVATE THINGS!' on facebook. ato post something buat kasi liat ke ce/ co tertentu supaya ksentil. why dont u keep that for yourself? you dont need the whole world to know is it? or even those people just don't care. or people like me, just think 'IT REALLY DISGUSTING!' gak banget gitu.. ngatain cewek directly on facebook. why dont people think twice before they do something? okay okay.. kadang gw juga gitu. tapi at least.. gw udah tobat.. atau mungkin gw gak separah itu.. well.. i never know, perhaps some girls talking about me somewhere.. =S

maturity.. how u measure that? buat gw pribadi.. untuk jadi orang yang (kata org jawa) nrimo aja udah cukup dewasa. atau orang yang bisa berfikir sebelum berkata & bertindak uda cukup mature. atau orang yang bisa memposisikan dirinya di tempat orang lain, melihat masalah dari dua sisi, atau simply gak gegabah udah cukup mature.. yet again.. we never know.. mature itu relative, tapi childish itu absolut! sama hal nya dengan ganteng, cantik, atau jelek.. ganteng cantik sih relative, smua orang bisa punya persepsi atau tipe berbeda2.. tapi kalo udah jelek.. sepertinya absolut.. sampling errornya mungkin bisa lebih kecil dari 5%..

kadang aku suka mikir.. siapa yah yang mau sama gw slain Edu? haha. silly question.. but in fact.. YES!! gw suka mikirin itu.. it wasting time instead, but.. Hey! i'm a human okay.. i have those silly question in my mind.. another silly question such as.. what is the surname of Jesus? was it really Christ? and how His friend calling Him? Jeess?? or Christ?? mungkin kurang ajar.. tapi gw bener2 nanya ke bible teacher gw.. ok2. back to topic. gw ngerasa gw jelek loh. i mean gak cakep2 amat.. nah selain itu.. gw toa.. rese.. dan cerewet.. kelebihan gw.. kaki gw cukup panjang kalau dibanding sama temen serumah.. dan suara gw cukup lumayan diantara sekitar gw.. udah.. paling gw diterima disalah satu perguruan tinggi internasional 50 terbaik di dunia.. dan.. gw artis SI KOMO! udah gitu aja.. tapi apa itu bisa jadi modal gw buat shine in market place? i mean.. sejak DIA pergi.. gw ngrasa ada yang kurang banget. handphone sepi.. gak ada sms.. gak ada telpon slain tlp dari linda vonny kalo gak anak greja.. msn off terus.. facebook cuma ada seonggok message dari Ria nanyain cara bayar bill internet.. huaaa.. aku sadar aku PAYAH! zzzzzz...

dan aku.. MARLINA TJEUW!

gomenasai

2009-09-13T14:06:00.006+08:00

suddenly blog become my bestfriend. cause blog let me write everything i like without judging me.. sometimes, i just need to be listened.

i'm listening to Chantal's ~ leaving on the jet plane.. it said..

There's so many times I've let you down

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you will wait for me

hold me like you'll never let me go

then i miss you.. i know i miss you. but you'll never know.. now i know.. you might better wthout me.. it so sad.. but i should be strong and i know i can be strong..

mm. i realize, i wrote the words 'i know' so many times. do i really know who are you? or do i really know who am i? somehow, i feel lost about myself. i don't know who am i. i don't know why i do that. or simply i don't know why i can't do this or that.. even somehow.. i can't tell you what i feel. perhaps i'm unloveable person. do i deserve to be happy? do i deserve to be loved?

in this moment, i can't explain how i feels. so random. let the time goes by.. and let the pain dry and fly away. yet i know.. i can't smile without you. i'm addicted to you. and it's too sad. because you don't feel the same way.

but you are the one that feel hurts. now i can't understand. when a man loves a woman and so the woman does, how can they hurts each other?

Romeo goes and never back. Juliet cries.. and realize.. maybe they're just two kids in a dreamland and only know love is happy and perfect..

gomenasai Romeo, your Juliet never tell you that love is not that pretty.. and your Juliet done a lot of mistakes. Juliet isn't perfect. She always let you down. So Juliet let the Romeo pick one of the choices.. give the poisons to Juliet or.. shot her head.

love is cruel, as well as.. life.

2009-09-13T13:15:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to do. i don't want to sleep. i don't want to eat. i love to do nothing. what's wrong with me? so sad.. so sad to be me.. forgive me mom. i can't be ur good child anymore. i dumped. i slapped. i kicked. i shotted. i need to cry now, but i can't...

i broke.. i broke down into pieces..

me and him

2009-09-13T04:41:00.004+08:00

kenapa mesti saling nyakitin? kenapa harus buat aku jadi orang yang hopeless? dan kenapa aku selalu terima? be patient and accepting. always accepting? why don't you just kill me? i cant stand it anymore, but i know that's just a bullshit. telling that simple sentence for thousand times, but the fact i still be there for you. why don't you just throw me away and let me die instead, rather than i see you act that way. i need communication. i need a reason. i need you to listen to me. i need you to see. i need you to think. and i need you..

why can't i run away? why can't i say 'i hate you!'? why can't i be another person? why i can't choose anything. somehow, i just want to move in a place where no one know about me there. i'm just new stranger, start my new life and hypnotized to forget your past. you know what i want right now? i want you to listen to me when i say.. i love you.. but unfortunately, you never know. now.. i know.. i'm the one that keep 23 tight like i keep tight those keys.. remember? keys i my hand? i hold that tight.. like i hold my love for you. even i bleed or die. i'll never let go.. cause that's mine! cause you can't kill that! you can't took that from me! but you can ask me to go for your happiness.. yess.. for your happiness. sometimes.. i wish.. i can be those girls just to make you.. smile..

or sometimes.. i wish i could be turn back time, so i can make you fall in love with me..

i remember..

2009-09-13T04:24:00.005+08:00

hunn. i miss you..

it's heavy rain outside my window and i remember you. it's a big storm and lightning, i remember how you hold me tight when i scared at that time. now i realize how much i love you. i can't let you down. but somehow, you makes me confused. i want to be with you, i know exactly what i want to do.

beb, i have a nightmare moments ago and i need you here. can you listen to my cry? can you listen to my stories? or my favorite song? perhaps you never realize, that the song you sing, the dream you want to touch, or the stars you see, is.. me..

late night story

2009-09-12T00:30:00.003+08:00

just came back from church. cellgroup was really happening. presence of God flows like a rush river. feel recharge. ohh well. today Faith teach us to love those unloveable person. it's hard. coz i really experienced it even until this sec.

it's late night, but my eyes still in love with desktop. can't cooperate with my brain that so busy asking me to sleep. rrgghh! eih! suddenly comes up in my mind. i think about temptation. feel that temptation is everywhere, i can said that i can't stand for those temptation. but God said that He'll make a way to escape anyway, in fact i still can't run from those food temptation. Food and temptation to sleep/ do nothing are biggest tempts in my life! i still struggling to overcome those crappy things. =p

Edu's phone is error. can't contact him at all. annoyedd! lempar aja deh handphone nya.. ato gak minta papa frendy beli XL skalian! i miss him and suddenly miss my family a lloott... feels wanna go home now. :'(

let meet them in my dreamland. that's mean i need to go to sleep now. going off and meet lovely people there..

what a life..

i'm yelling in the middle of the night

2009-09-11T00:23:00.002+08:00

sleeeppy but not sleepy. kenyaang yang pasti! kebiasaan buruk kalo uda makan pasti lgs ngantuk.. hueh! laptop LINDA nge-down mulu. jadi deg2an bakal ilang nggak datanya. kita bergotong royong bikin assg. SERIUS! capek banget. HATE MONEY CAPITAL ALLLOOOOTTT!! gggrrrr. besok ke greja. tapi agak maless. secara.. dari smalem kurang tidurr. hueh! ampun deh! i got midnight supper almost every night. 1 roti milo.. 1 ice coffee.. and NEVER forget 1 limau ice. abis makan.. kembung n kenyang. kena AC jadi super ngantuk. gak tau knp gw ngrasa day by day gw bisa lebih dewasa n lebih kuat. even itu gak segampang yang orang lain pikir. sejak di Malay, hidup gw brubah, banyak yang berubah. maybe i can say, i'm stronger now, smarter, and.. fatter! =p payah ahh. makan terus. dsini bener2 membesarkan perut, pipi, paha, dan sekitarnya. i need GYM! need to work-out more! but i can't! no motivation. haha. mungkin perut gw kurang meleber kali ya.. hahahaa (choi chooiii *touch wood!) well, uda midnight, kerjaan blm beres juga. i'm sufferiiinggg. mo bobo aja lah! tapi gak bisa liat kerjaan gantung gitu. HELP ME!!! GOD GOD GOD.. i know this all my faults, butt pppllleeaaassseee help me to finished my race. can i? =)

I heard pop slow song. bring me to dream world.. but NO!!! I CAN'T SLEEEPP! i need to work! =( huhu. okay okayyyyy!!! i'll back to my work! ggrrr. hate hate hattteee itttt!

tutituttt..

2009-09-10T20:56:00.003+08:00

ASSSSSSIIIGGNNNMMMEEENNTTT OOOOHHH AAASSSIIGGNNMMMEENNTTT..

siapa yg ciptain assignment basis?? siapa yang ciptain exam?? siapa yang mengusulkan sekolah mesti susah. kenapaaa ohh menggaaapppaaa.. gw pengen BUNGEE JUMPING sekarang juga.. gw pengen SNORKLING.. pengen SHOPPING SEPUASNYA.. pengen JALAN-JALAN.. MAKAN-MAKAN.. NONTON.. aaaaa.. aku gak mau sekolah!!

di detik2 terahir.. kita baru sibuk kerjain assignment.. tapi SANTAI tetep no.1

vonny masi triak2 nyanyi.. linda tukang cek grammar sibuk bilang 'MAAV YA LINN.. AKU GAK BISAAA'.. ato winny yang malah sibuk research di facebook.. yang lebih hebat ya frendy, org yg mau dirajalela.. ckck. kenapa ya? cek seberapa nalar terhadap pelajaran masi pake classical theory.. yaitu EXAM. jadi anak pinter itu anak yang memorinya kuat? ato yang explanationnya tepat.. apakabarnya dong sama anak yang cuma bisa pake logika.. ato pada gak sadar limitation of language? hmmmfff.. why people always be complicated.. or if it just simple, people tend to make it complicated.. intinya harus complicated.. misalnya hal simpel, gw laper.. tapi gw suka bikin itu jadi ribet. misalnya.. 'AKU TAKUT GENDUUTT..' atoo.. 'KALO ITU MINYAKNYA BANYAK..' ; 'YANG INI LEMAKNYA BANYAAKK' ; 'UDAH MALEMMM' ; 'AKU DIETTT' ; atau yang paling silly.. 'AKU BINGUNG, GAK TAU MO MAKAN APA.. yauda deh.. aku gak jd makan.. abis bingung, aku minum ajah..' ada gak ya org kaya' gitu.. haha

weellll,,, hari ini bner2 capek.. mondar mandir skolah.. kurang makan.. assignment btumpuk.. tapiii.. still BE HAPPY.. and.. DON'T WORRY.. sudahlah.. back to assignment..

TTYL

changes

2009-09-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

bagaimana rasanya kalau dibanding2in?? gimana kalau malah temen paling deket lo yang dibanding2in sama lo? gimana kalau ternyata temen lo mikir kalau apa yang dia lakuin udah paling bener? dan gimana kalau lo gak bisa apa2 karna lo friendship minded? stuck isn't it? and it's not fun at all. realize that everybody have their own weakness. realize that everybody could hurts me. and realize that the only thing i could believe is only God.. or maybe my family. i just can't do anything.. i'm stuck.. well, maybe what i faced this whole week was a sign. an answer of my question to Lord. i don't want to be silly, choose the wrong person to be my bestfriend. but maybe i did.. what is best friend?? best friends are the nice crazy people surround you that share the same interest with you, complement you, can be supportive, understand you, understandable, willing to listen, and never betray you. like or not, friends will be there whatever you faced. they will say sorry if they done mistakes and you also do. but it just lullaby, a night song that written nicely in a scrapbook. the fact?? best friend is not that pretty anyway. people do change. at the first, they just seems so nice! you can tell everything to them.. at the end you will find, something goes wrong. either you or them are change.. and you can't stop changes in this world. something that never change is God and destiny or for me.. maybe my mommy. she's just a great woman in my whole life. then beside those things.. everything just change..

ttyl

2009-09-09T13:36:00.002+08:00

i just had my nap. so sleepy. i suddenly miss him. think about my future, it just.. dark. haha. now i'm quite okay, chiller, and more patient. coz, i need to be strong! maybe not only me feel this way.. maybe he also feel down. or.. maybe other people have same situation as me.. or even worst than me.. maybe i just need to thank God..

well. i need to go to campus now. =)

it's big decision

2009-09-09T00:58:00.003+08:00

i'm so down. yeah as always.. i'm very often down. i'm asking God a question.. only a question..

AM I THAT BAD?????

why no one know me.. no one know my willing.. no one know my feeling.. and even no one support me. how come? how come i feel so lonely. i can't support myself. i can't stand.. i'm just HOPELESS. i'm finish. i just finished my race, and i'm so tired, so upset. somehow i pity myself, why i should face this.. i cried simply because i'm sad. then now, i think, i can let him choose, want to let me go or.. up to him..

boring boring.

2009-09-08T22:18:00.001+08:00

hari ini edu pulang. and im sad!

udah jam set11 tapi assignment blm mulai satupun!!

rrrrggghhhh!!

venue: secret recipe

2009-09-06T14:26:00.004+08:00

i'm in KL sentral waiting for bus to Genting with Edu, Linda, Vonny, Winny, and Frendy. at the first, everything just okay. but now, i'm really in bad mood. i just can't understand, why days after days i found its really hard to talk to him, he always thought that i do something wrong, but in my side, i feel i protect him. i dont want him to be game addict. it's okay to have hobbies, but the important thing is how to manage the time. what i found now, his gaming activities has been broke his immune system. i remember, he ever diagnose by doctor that he has liver problem. at those time, i really worried, i can't do anything except yelling at him to stop sleep late. somehow i know, that's my fault to keep him awake till morning, but in the other side, he also doesnt want to think about himself. i keep thinking, keep trying to protect him from any bad things. maybe i'm too worry, maybe i dont realize that he's not a kid anymore. but everything i did, i just want to protect him, because i simply love him..

last night.

2009-09-05T11:32:00.002+08:00

it's already 11.36 a.m. but nobody's awake! they slept late last night. then.. last night, i can't stand. yes yes, i can't stand in the real meaning, not a phrase ok.. my back pain until this sec. can't explain what exactly happen, it's quite fast and.. makes me sick. i'm in traumatic condition actually, but nobody knows. i wont remember what happen last night. but the flashback keep hanging around in my head. pics and pics flying over my head. i'm not well today, but at least i'm better than last night. God am i that sin? until You just can't stop Your mouth to curse me.

NICE!

2009-09-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

hey! what do u expect me to write?? i'm totally happy! well, never felt this before anyway. happy day with friends and edu's fam. i never expect that his fam had hit me on crush. i just want to know them more. :)

great day, great food, and great people. Perfect! only left my fam. if they were here, it will be a blast! i'm happy, God. THANKS! You're the best of the best i ever had. I want everything just to be the same, or if it's possible, can i ask to be better? =p Oh yea, i was questioning, does church should be like that? when they calling me like 3times a day, i feel weird. can't explain well, but i feel.. mmmm... uncomfort? well, only God knows anyway. I'm so full now, Manhattan Fish for lunch and YUEN for dinner. Edu rocks my day! i mean it! i'm happy!

a short one

2009-09-03T17:32:00.003+08:00

quote of the day.. God creates man and woman to be unique. Different from each other so that they can complete each other..

That what i saw in a 10min ad. It touched me and makes me proud to be different. I need to be unique anyway..

and i said..

2009-09-02T10:39:00.002+08:00

it's 2 sept and it's mid-exam day. I'm quite struggling in every subjects, trying to survive at least to pass this sem. I'm dragging down. something feel hurts in my heart. like someone punch exactly in the center of my heart. It pain. why i need to be hurt if i he doesn't care anymore? love just cant flown away. should i keep it? or store it in the corner of broken heart? well, sometimes i feel i just can't say 'im tired'.. but actually, i'm really exhausted. i don't want to be like this. i want peaceful heart and mind, then i can concentrate better in another aspects of my life. But for now, i can't. i still can't stop to open his page, to simply see what's going on. every time i open, its ended with disappointment. but i dont want to tell anyone.. i won't even care of my heart, i just let the pain goes, and what happen tomorrow? yes. i will open his page again. i'm try to against my own heart. i don't want to cry. i calm my self down. and it's not easy. i try to be strong. i don't care what he did, what i care is what he will do? i don't care who he is, what i care is who he want to be? i don't care every tears, what i care only every loves..

lalalala..

2009-08-31T19:46:00.002+08:00

kebiasaan winny:

- tuang dettol hand sanitizer di dengkul trus di elus2

kebiasaan linda:

- bangun pagi langsung senam

kebiasaan vonny:

- tidurpun pake pose

kebiasaan linna:

- tidur dengan sarung

winny is..

'besar' , berpengalaman dalam love life , sangat minim pengetahuan ttg sex , dewasa

linda is..

merajalela , cuek , berani , nyentrik, lazy but smart

vonny is..

popok, childish-imut , rajin urus rumah , berponi , caring , polos , jago masak

linna is..

cantik!

bip bip

2009-08-28T20:05:00.002+08:00

my teeth annoyed me. it's 8.10 p.m., but i done nothing else beside writing my blog. boring.. so boring.. but i can't blame anyone for my bored day anyway. Along with my pain, i stop eating a lump sum of snacks, rice, and skip dinner almost for a week. it's nice huh? i can't gain more weight. but i let my heart broke.. can't be fixed anymore i think. i let my soul down.. i just let it be.. because i just be who i am.

what i need to do now.. umm.. assignment?? hmm boring.. i need loud music, nice drinks, and friends. i need girl night out.. i need beauty sleep.. i need spa.. everything that a brokenheart girl needs! give me that shot! so tired for crying each minutes in the middle of the night. so tired to feel broken each morning when i open my eyes.

too much memories..

somehow, i think..

i lose my bestfriend and my boyfriend..

and it hurts..

mourning day

2009-08-28T16:54:00.002+08:00

lately, i sleep hardly. i left my hobby to eat a lot far far behind. don't know what happen. i just can't feel anything. i want to die, i think. Like i said before, im still struggling with my assignment and test. it is like God punishes me, He won't let me smile a bit. He gives me another shot.
i dragged down inside. shout to nowhere. i can't cry anymore. even i can't believe it. my mouth shut to mute mode. my face just like scramble egg.. zzzz
i am lost..

my midnight story..

2009-08-21T00:11:00.004+08:00

udah lama gak nulis.. well, got lotta prob about friendship.. got the fake one.. got some miscommunication.. and alot more. suddenly my life becomes so hard to be faced. assignments.. presentations.. tests.. oh God. im so fed up with those thing, but as usual, i have no choice man. i need to fight for it.

somehow, i feels that, it is not okay to be an extrovert girl. i'm lack of awareness. maybe they are right, dont judge the book from its cover.. or.. kind man has it own purpose.. dont know why, but lately not less than 2persons irritated me.. i feel betrayed for instance. but is that God who told us to forgive another? i learn.. i learn to be a graceful girl that can let anything that stop and hurt her, and simply be a lovely person. God is faithful. He creates man to learn from His character, absorb, and implied in their life, so that joy and grace will flow like a river..

i just realized. how hard to be normal.. Normal for me is wake up 8 a.m, take a bath, go to school, print everything needed, done assignment on time, prepare assignment and exams 2weeks before, eat well, studying, watch tv, and sleep at 10 pm, and get at least D for the subject. Is it too silly?? or what?? tell me! i feel like it is a normal life.. for me it is how MONASH UNIVERSITY student should live.. hmmm.. maybe i'll go crazy later on. to stress up man! but in the other side, i feel like i can do this..

My emotions take me to uncomfort zone, where i can shout and yell to Edu, sometimes i feel regret after i said those words.. sorry dear.. but lately i feel too sensitive, lil' bit prob, i'll simply upset to him.. or just feel annoyed towards my friends, only bcoz they left me for dinner.. Damn it man! what happen to me??? lalalalaa... maybe this is what i called introspection towards myself.. look at my self first then i can see prob clearly.. maybe i need anger management?? or yoga?? well.. i'll do that later, in my summer holiday.. yeah.. i should do that.. to relax my body and face.. too much stress dude..

HOAAMMM.. i need to go to sleep now.. ganbateh for my finance acc friends.. i know you're struggling now, but 2weeks later, i think i will feel what you guys feel.. =)

closing.. i just want to say..

I LOVE MY MOM, DAD, AND 4 SIS

I LOVE MY EDU

I LOVE MY FRIENDSSS

last but not least..

I LOVE U MY GOD.. my saviour, my life, my source of light, and my answer for every qst..

blue day

2009-08-10T21:47:00.002+08:00

the clock shows 9.51 pm.. 10 august 2009.. at LCCT.

it's a blue day. Edu pulang hari ini setelah 3minggu liburan di Malay. dari jam 8.45 udah nyampe dsini. makan di taste of Asia dan finally skrg lagi nunggu dia check in.. and fly away.

it's really hard to just sit and see him going away.. left me behind. tapi.. gw sadar.. when i can meet a person.. then someday i should let him go. But there's a lil light that shine in me.. I believes that he will going back next year to Malaysia. God strengthen me.. Just can't see him walks and fly away. MAU NANGISSSSS.. MAU TRIAAKK & bilang 'JANGAN PEGI DULUUU.. AKU MAU IKUUTT!!!! :'( i wont go home w/out uuu.. hixshixshixs'

tapii.. tadi dia bilang 'Jangan nangis ya dutt, kalo kamu nangis, tar aku juga jadi sedih..'

i just wanna cry right now.. and yess.. tears start to flow from my little eyes and.. i just can't stop.. can't stop to cry. oh God, i just want to stay with him all the time..

Listen God.. listen to what i pray.. listen to my cry, because i know.. U just simply my best friend..

ECW1101 paper..

2009-06-18T09:31:00.002+08:00

jam 9.30 pagi, baru bgn tidur.

hemmp. hari ini jam setengah 2 ada exam ketiga, ECW11O1, microeconomics paper.

hmm. dont know what kind of thing will come up. but i believe in God that, He will help me

He will be with me all the way, all the time =)

God i know, You will partnering me in all kind of situation, because You're mighty

because You loves me as Your child. fill me with holy spirit Lord, so that i can write answers

in a good way, in a good interpretation, in the right time. i want HD Lord..

i want to make my parents, friends, and U proud. let me sing in Your mighty name,

let me glory Ur name. in the name of Jesus i pray. Amen!

my prayer

2009-06-14T22:36:00.003+08:00

besok MGW1010 exam.

anehnya gw kok ga takut sama skali ya? i think bcoz i have faith in God.

that He will lead me all the way. dan pastinya krn doa mama papa lah =)

slalu gw pcy kalo doa orang tua PENTING banget di stiap ujian gw.

hehe. makanya i always ask God to bless my parents. love my fam a lot!

God.. thx, because u send lovely people to stand beside me..

my family.. edu.. imel.. monasher.. chc friend. they're positive aura for me

slalu nemuin something positive that can encourage me day by day.

i want this feeling for everyday in the rest of my life, God..

i love to feel this.. secure.. happy.. peaceful.. and close to everyone include You.

besok exam kdua. bless me dear mighty God. fill me with Ur holy spirit..

bless me with your strength. i want HD for this paper Lord.. i know..

when i walk with you, sure i can do it. i have faith in You. You will be with me everytime

this is my heart song for you. i come and i worship you Lord.

i keep on praying, i commit my exam, my health, my fam, and friends in Your mighty hand,

thank you Jesus for everything. in the name of Jesus i pray. AMEN!

1st exam day

2009-06-12T06:37:00.002+08:00

i woke up @ 5.55 in the morning

took shower and Edu was calling me.. yes. he was calling to pray for me

terharu.. haha. well. 2 jam lagi exam pertama dimulai.

should be confidence, because i know. God with me.

tapi cobaan memang selalu ada. dr smlm perut melilit. ga bisa diajak kompromi

sumpahh. ga enak bgt! mengganggu. huehh Lord, took this acid gas out from my gastric!

so.. uncomfort and hurts. hixs! kenapa mesti dtgnya pas mo exam.

ato.. sakit perutnya krn sugesti aja kali yah. ampunn. aneh2 aja lahh. dodol!

oo well. since now still 6.43, i will go back to studying. haha. males bgt sih.

but i must.. no choice offered. Bless me God.. always bless me! be there for me, always

=) SEMANGAT! AJA AJA FIGHTING! hehehe

midnight

2009-06-12T00:05:00.003+08:00

Today is my 1st exam day in Monash Sunway

time shows 12.06 am

it's midnite and we still struggling with accounting preparation

my stomach seems not friendly tonight. it is uncomfortable. hummmf.

annoying!! well. alot of things to write..

one of them is my excited-ness to go back soon. which is 7 more days!

cant wait. really cant wait. but the bad news i need to complete and faced my exams first.

quite excited for tomorrow's exam and worried at the same time.

i miss Edu suddenly. i really miss him. hueeehh. pusing2.

at the end of this short time. i wanna say

God bless me and be with me all the time. all the way..

bring confidence in me, bless me with great memory and interpretation.

AMEN!

morning prayer

2009-06-11T10:26:00.004+08:00

BESOK EXAM AFW 1000

BESOK EXAM INTRO TO ACC&FIN

BESOK EXAM T.T

BESOK EXAM God i know..

BESOK EXAM You'll be there for me

BESOK EXAM =)

BESOK EXAM Bless me in every way

BESOK EXAM Makes me strong enough

BESOK EXAM gives me bigger capacity

BESOK EXAM Confidence

BESOK EXAM Best Memory

BESOK EXAM peaceful heart&mind

BESOK EXAM let me do the best

BESOK EXAM and You'll do the rest

BESOK EXAM at the end, You'll smile

BESOK EXAM and say..

BESOK EXAM WELL DONE!

BESOK EXAM

cup of coffee in the morning

2009-06-09T11:02:00.004+08:00

waaa. males bangunn!!!!!

>< pengennya nempel di ranjang ga bangun2. ga pengen ngapa2in. weleehh

well.. hari ini ada appointment pagi2 sama nerissa mo bkin business stats di library.

dy si uda stand by dr pagi. ckck.

dan tinggalah gw, yg super males. jadinya jam 11.00 br bgn. masi nglondoy2 lagi dkasur..

masi buka fb dl.. msn dl.. blog dl.. males jalan ke kmr mandi. amppoonn!!

perlu ada traktor kali ya buat drag gw.. ckck

intinya hari ini aga ribet.

jadiii gw hrs bikin to do list supaya ga brantakan, n smua bs djalanin hr ini

jadi besok g kteteran apa numpuk gmn gt.

so, today's list are:

- mandi + beres2

- ke tmpt winny linda vonny

- daftarin kalkulator

- drop intro to macro

- bljr busstat

- masak + makan

- chat/tlp abeng

- bobo

skrg yg ribet, sempet ga ya? ini aja uda jam 11.10

hmmm kburu la yaa. hueh.. pagi2 uda ribet, mana udara panas bgt hr ini, astro lg rusak, laper lagi.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... bntar lagi pulang indo ni. cant wait.

uda nyium bau2 indo gw. ahaha. tapi mesti nunggu exam slese. huehhh.

duh deket exam, tidur ga tratur ini. ga sehat bgt. niatnya mulai malem ini mo tdr paling telat jam 12. soalnya 'mom believes' kalo tdr makan minum vitamin n bljr tratur ngaruh ke nilai..

hmmm masuk akal kan? boleh diikutin brarti. =p

kok tb2 pengen kopi? yasudah. finally i need to do my list NOW! =)

well. i hope, today will be a great day (not waste-less and happy along the day)

so.. GOOD MORNING! =D

2009-06-09T01:55:00.002+08:00

1.57 am, 9june 2009

4days to exam. sooo sleepy. but cant sleep

hmmf. BLURY BLURY BLURY. kesel! ga jelas bgadang2.

menu mlm ini, ada bihun sarden sama ayam goreng crispy. nyam nyam!

malemnya bljr accounting absorption. then pulang rumah maen viwawa

haha. linda vonny menyerahkan hidupnya dtangan TUHAN. maen viwawa ampe mati g bljr.

ckck. abis makan bersiin sdapur. mana minyak pake tumpah lagi. aaarrgghhh.

ngepel lagi lah.

doh dohh. kok hati ga tenang bgt. mo bljr juga kaya'ny uda bisa, tapi g yakin bgt

gmn dddooonnnnggg! mati aja lah! mones nyusahin!

kamar winny vonny super brantakan. u can see fr the pics rite? =)

hahaha. once again, whoever read this blog. PRAY FOR ME! 2 Distinction & 2 HD!

AMEENNN!!

today..

2009-06-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

at 11.27
today the sky so nice. sun seems so shy to smile along the day.
5days to exam. i still unprepared well. need extra effort to build my mood.
oooh my.. i've been so busy eating and talking along the day while im studying
huehh. it's not good at all. today no rice for me. hungry hungry hungry
i only ate bread for bfast, pudding for lunch, and instant noodle for dinner. but its okay, since i want to get slimmer body. ahahha. management is my friend today. this book partnering me all the day. ckck. i think i can smell my home from now. cant wait to get back home soon.
last night i got nightmare, i dreamed 2 people died in a bus accident, and i feel warned by unknown that my plane is not safe. feel really uncomfort with it. dont know what to do. ><
well what can i do maybe only PRAY! no other choice man. haha
moonlight ready to say goodnight to me, but seems like i never want to close this eyes, never wants to say gbye to the world. maybe bcoz im worried..
yeah im worried about my exam. whoever read this post.. pray for me.
key??? =)

a night in early june

2009-06-05T22:32:00.003+08:00

jam 10.34, udah sls makan..

vonny treak2 dgn lagu cinanya. laptopnya minta dlempar kaos kaki.

hari ini masak nasi goreng ayam rawit. lumayan enak. winny yg koki, gw yg nyiapin, linda beresin, vonny makan doang. haha. 7more days to exam.

dan kita cuma maen looklet, viwawa, and cuma si jiejie winny yg bljr. yg gw yakin, ga masuk otak sama skali. kmr baru mreka masi brantakan, tapi nyaman kok. buat guling2. maen2. bljr masi ok la. =)

besok da mlae libur sih. cumaaa. masi msti bljr buat exam. aga ga pede, gr2 kmrn micro assg2 failed. hmmf. annoying! tp gw tau la, pasti ada maksudnya gw failed.

everything just happen for a reason. God gives me the way for sure. He will not makes me down.

haha. well. hr ini papi edu birthday. jutteeekk bgt bls smsnya. palingan gengsi dia. haha.

vonny ga sadar sih. but i know she's happy. cuz her prince always be there for her.

her secret admirer. hehe. well just pray for her happiness =)

winny sang mami menyuruh anaknya linda mandi. drtd treak2

'LINDDDAAAA... MANDDDIIIII... LINNNDAAAA MMMAAANNNDDDIIIII!!!!!!!'

CUCI PIRRRIIINGGGGG!!!!

ckck. yg satu pacaran.. yg satu treak2.. yg satu sibuk viwawa..

what a night.. haha

pain song

2009-06-02T17:19:00.003+08:00

2 June 2009. exam seems nearer and nearer. forces are everywhere.

well, yesterday we were celebrating hansen birthday. we threw him to the pool. but then they also threw me. Jess shy whole day, since gossip was spread everywhere about her n the birthday boy =) we had a lot of fun, but.. till midnite, NIGHTMARE happened to me.

it was horrible. super horrible. i don't know what to do and to say. yes! i'm CHILDISH! CHILDISH! CHILDISH!

but then i realize maybe we need to grow up. hey. im not fine, im in pain! but it's like adam levin said, nothing last forever. but that's alright, even it getting rough, it's not right at all, believe that someday, we gonna get through this.

my window is covered up with water beads. raindrops fall heavily, sky turns black. but the wind blow me away. it fly my pain away. i want to run.. i want to throw struggles away. may mighty God help me out. makes everything better. yeah. better and better.

dont u know, every beat of clock makes me sick. because this heart beats so fast. bring me nearer to heart attack. let me close my eyes or just let me fly. i need rest. ya, i need a long rest. in my rest, i drop my tears. every drop, 1 part of my soul is gone. then drop by drop are falling, then soul will disappear. left the body to live alone.

after along time

2009-06-01T16:55:00.002+08:00

after alllooonngggg time.. gw dah bisa buka blog catetan linong lagi

kmrn sempet berpindah hati buat bikin just-littlestory, my another blog, hoping that i will not forget my password again.. tapi nasib berkata lain, gw lupa lagi passwordnya.

ckck

well. hari ini tanggal 1juni. hari senen

10hr menuju exam. tapiii. parahnya. gw jadi g ada smangat bljr, yg ada cuma ntn tv..

hari ini hujan. as usual, its windy. then i feel so mellow.

after celebrated hansen's birthday, i try to call my boyfriend, he seems so busy.

i dont know what to do, then i fall a sleep.

in the morning. i felt so bad. i was fever.. i dont know what happen to me lately

but i feel so.. empty. yaa. that's what i feel. it really makes me desperate.

i'm not crying, because i cant cry. but then.. i want to scream loudly. tell God what i feel.

tell the world what i feel.

ironically, i dont know exactly what i feel.

it sounds funny, but yes, i even dont know what i want, who am i exactly

my heart is a can with a hole in it

try to fill it up, but the water keeps comes out because of the hole in it.

with all efforts, i try to cover it up. he, the one that i spend my 3years with, help me to cover it up. maybe it works, but now, it start to leak again.

it is not his fault. maybe he tries his best to support me. im the one who needs to be stronger

i look at my surroundings, everybody seems so busy with themselves.

this world keeps changing from time to time. as well as the people in it.

maybe the point is, i need to be stronger, i need to fight, so i can stand by myself.

no more tears.. no more grumble around.. no more blaming others.. no more blaming God for the circumstances. i need to be strong..

once again.. i need to be strong

pagi hari di tgl 25 Aug 2008

2008-08-25T11:53:00.003+08:00

stlah lama tak bercakap2 *malay abis gw*.. ahirnya hari ini ga tahan gw mo nulis. crita di pagi hari yg cukup menyesakkan dadahhh.. bgini critanya.. smalem.. tidurlah gw dengan sangat nyenyak, tentram, damai, ngigo, senyum2, bahagia, ngiler, ngorok, guling2, roll depan.. roll belakang.. salto kanan.. gaya lilin.. dan sbagainya secara di kasi salam gudnite ma si pacar ^^ hihi ciehhh linna.. uhuy ihiy asoy geboy.. *TUH RIS DEL DAH PUNYA GANDENGAN GW (kaya truk aje pake gandengan)* hahaha *senyum bangga + licik*

ok lanjut, saking nyenyaknya gw tdr, gw ga inget bsk pagi gw ada klas kashmir.. untung alarm gw bunyi jam 8 pagi. langsunglah gw bgn dgn lemes & mata yang celiikk.. msk kmr mandi.. mandi.. sikat gigi.. ngaca, nyisir.. VOILA! kluar kmr, ketok kmr delia.. truss mo brangkat deh!

ehhhh tiba2 gw liat kmr mei2 (flatmate + classmate gw) masi gelap. dlm ati 'mei2 skola ga ya?' gw ketok2 kmrnya ga nyaut, del sms mei jg ga dbls. yasudahlah krn da jem 9.40 kita lgs cabut tkt telat n ky'nya mei2 ga msk skolah.

pas lagi smangat2nya brangkat.. rada sempit2an di MRT.. taunya hp del bunyi 'bippp..bippp' pas dibuka taunya mei2 bilang..

"ni br bgn del, mang knp? kitakan hari ini ga da klas pagi, adanya klas siang doang"

DAAAAANNNNGGGG!!!!!

busssseeettttt da bgn pagi2 (tumben2 gw rada smangat) taunyaaaaaa....

GA ADA KELAS PAGI!!!!!!

ampun dahhhhhhhhh... ktauan abis ga pnah liat jadwal..

dasar dudul!

lina punya crita

2008-08-17T17:44:00.005+08:00

saya online di starbucks bersama org2 geblek indo yg tersebar di berbagai macam skolah&negara

dari tmc, nus, ampe yg skola di amrik.

buset dahhh tetep.. brisik abis. blom lagi kita yg niatnya cm lunch di sushi tei jem 12 siang.

eeehhhh ngobrol2.. ngakak2.. ceng2an.. si komo si komoan.. liat jem..

duuueeenggg!!!!

jem 5 bossss! kita duduk dsono da 5jem!

bujug dahhh.. hahaha

btw, kmrn gw pagi2 tiba2 aja pengen mkn mie ama del. yasuwlah, gw kluar masak mie bdua ma del. del blg, "eh aku mkn mie goreng ahhh, tapi ni punya syp ya mie gorengnya?". gw bilang aja kenceng2 (secara ownernya gw pikir dah kluar rumah) "ahh mkn aja del, green tea aku aja abis molo dminumin ama client si tante *owner rmh gw* minum aja del.. kalo dtanya tar aku yg blg, org client tante aja minum mnuman saya, lagian detergent, softener saya juga dpake pembantu tante.." ehhhhhhh uda ngmg berapi2 bgono.. tiba2.......

JJJJJJRRRREEEEEEENNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

tantenya masuk ke dapur..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..... malu abis gw.. jgn2 tantenya dnger lagiiii...

mati gw. jgn2 bsk gw di depak.. ato tiba2 dy kirim surat wasiat yg isinya..

"linna, saya memutuskan, kamu tdk bole tinggal druma ini lagi.. karna... omongan km terlalu menyakitkan hati saya, kalau perlu saya ganti detergentnya sepabrik! ato green tea nya segentong.. tapi alesan utamanya.. krn kamu cantik skali.. client saya smua bknnya liat hordeng2 yg saya jual, mala liat muka cantik nan eksotis kamu itu.."

hayalan gw, emang perfect abiss... bner2 menggambarkan keindahan muka gw.. (kaya'nya kucing tetangga gw da mati guling2 muntah2 dnger gw narsis) *huehe*

blom lagi kmrn siang gw nongkrong krjain assignment di starbucks. gw minta tolong del pesenin tall javachip with extra whipcream.. balik2 dr pesen, del bawa 2 gelas tall starbucks. berisikan, 1 gelas javachip, 1 gelas whipcream +chocolate topping.. bujuggg.. mo bkin gw overweight apa gmn?? muahaha emang lebay tu mas starbucks..

gambarnya yg di atas noh..

huehe

yasuwla, krjain assignment duluu ahhhhhh.. kan gw cantik & rajin. hahahahaha

daaaahhhhh

XOXO,

linna lucu.

curhat kilat

2008-08-14T19:10:00.005+08:00

ulala

br bs ol ni, pnjem punya del pula. fyi, m1 broadband gw rusak. gara2 salah kirim billing mail yg notabene bkn ke ruma gw. fuuuhhh.. bnyk assignment nih, blom ngerjain apa2 lagi. research si uda. tinggal mengarang bebas deh. hhohoho

hueehhh,, capek juga ya ni ari. sharian skola, pulang skola research (kerjaan anak2 rajin jaman skrg ;p ) holalaaa... pengen nyatai dongggg..

just wait till 8sept, n everything done, and back to JAKARTAAAAAAAA...

uuuu ga sbr mo pulang. huxs!

kgn smua.. momz, dad, dede, susan, miya, ria, imel, peloy, n pngen ktmu 'dia' hehe

hoping the time will pass fastly. hoping everything will be fine, hoping the best luck for me.

GOD bless me..

regards,

linna cantik

hehe

cantik itu susah..

2008-08-10T14:08:00.010+08:00

uit

da brp lama ya gw absen nulis di blog. hehe. smlm br pulang dr mkn2 bdei jeksen + kokonya.. dan sperti yg gw perkirakan tu tempat mkn2 bakal ky tempat bagi2 sembako, rameenyeeeeee ampun2an n lo bakal serasa di Indo. hahaha. dr meja makan sampe wc smua rame anak2 indo yg notabene ada 20an org. Blom lagi pnutupan dinnernya plg manteb, nyanyi hppi bdei kenceng2, n dtambah ada pnampakan orang2 aneh bin ajaib macem Sir ACB 'Manusia yg Dipuja2 dan Digilai Para Wanita', Botak 'lelaki pede berat yg narsis + asisten sir ACB', kwang2 'kembangan' dan tentunya gw Linong si WCSLLDRBYTPSDSNBHSCRSIBDLSDI (Wanita cantik sperti lucy liu dgn rambut baru yg terurai panjang sperti dian sastro nan baik hati sperti cinderella, rame sperti indy barrens, dan lucu sperti dea imut) , jadi ga heran kalo kita smua jdi pusat pratian. hahaha

Oiya, ngemeng2 gw ni baru menyulap rambut gw nan indah ini dr sbahu jadi spinggul. Kalo bahasa gaolnye rambut gw di ekstensyon. Cieh manteb loh, rambutnye, makin cakep dah gw. wakakaak. Gw bela2in duit tabungan gw terkuras abis, hanya demi terurainya rambut gw.. hmmmfff. bgtulah kami para wanita mlakukan pengorbanan sperti menguras dompet, luka2 gara2 heels, pagi2 bangun buat blow rambut, mlm2 mikirin kalo bsk pegi ma someone special mo pk bju apa, dll.. demiii kliatan cantik.. (DENGER TUH LAKI! hargain dong pngorbanan ce2.. ga gampang loh jadi ce.. coba aja sono lo tiap bln pake pembalut, pegi pk heels 7cm, pagi2 bgn buat blow rambut sendiri, make up, milih2 mixmatch baju.. huehhh.)

ahh gile minggu suram, bosen aje drumah. hueh! oiya masa skrg gw kl mandi bs 30min lebi, smua gara2 rambut baru gw yg bs djadiin kuas ini. Ribeeeeetttttttttt bgt dah ngurusinnye, tnyata, punya rambut panjang bgini susa juga ye, lama keringnya, kramas msti telaten, blom conditioner dpakein satu2, kalo panas jadi panas bgt, ribet, bujug dah aga ga betah jg sii, tapi kalo del bilang 'Ya gitu de lin kalo mo cantik..' hmmmff.. bner2 perjuangan.. ga biasa bgt gw bgini..

cantik tu relatif, jadi cantik itu impian smua ce, smua ce cantik, usaha supaya cantik itu susah tapi perlu, cantik..cantik..cantik..

tau ah! pusing! pokoknya yg gw tau gw cantik!

muahahahahhhahahha *pede gila, kecoa di sblah gw juga mati langsung kl gw dah narsis bgini..

hehe

unstable soul

2008-08-06T01:18:00.003+08:00

prasaan hari ini:

sedih
takut levernya kambuh
bangga ma diri sendiri
bangga ma si calon pengacara
bangga ma si wanita yg les di wallstreet
capek.. jiwa n raga (gym gila2an gw hr ini)
sedih
sedih
sedih lagi
bingung
all in one (kaya iklan pelicin strikaan 'kisspret')

with lop,

-linna cantik-

(*hueeehe*)

cita cita cita cita

2008-08-04T22:01:00.004+08:00

huaa.. walopun gw da ga meler, gw lagi nyesek abis nih, brasa kaya ada combro sebakul nyangkut di pantat. huehhh.. seseeekkkk... mikirin si dia jln ma ce itu.. huxs, ga bs apa2 lagi gw.. mo treak 'jannnggaaaannnn' tapi leher srasa di iket dongkrak, mo nangis spuasnya tapi aer mata da capek produksi, smlm abis kerja rodi banjir aer mata.. mo coret2 buat numpahin unek2 da bosen, sekodi kertas da gw abisin kali.. yg pasti skrg kata LEGA jadi sesuatu hal yg mewah bgt buat gw, ahh otak gw mampet ky wc di kpl gw.. T.T pokoknya skrg tsera dia deh.. bis gw bner2 ga tau mo gmn.. x'( intinya,, i'll olwes be there for him.. JAELAHHHHH.. laga gw.. prrreetttt... haha, tapi itu bner2 tulus low. gini2 gw juga bs romantuusss *uhuy! ;p

well oh well, ga usa dbahas yg ga enak dah, lets move on.. okei, tadi sore.. gw ngrasa ada yg ga beres ama perut gw, ssssaaaakkkkkkiiiiitttttt abesss.. ga tau dah napa. kaya'nya gara2 nasi lemak sblah skolah. Aduh ga lagi2 deh mkn pedes pagi2, ga enak gila imbasnye. swt.. Soreny, gw mkn2 di sushi tei brg anak2 plus.. ce nya frank si gila dr vietnam. Ce nya ckp abis, makanya kita2 pd pnasaran pengen liat.. ehhhh pas ktmu.. ampun dah cantik si cantik, tnyata dy sama gilanya ama frank.. Emang laki bini sama aje! hehe

Ngomong2 inget2 fikir2 ngobrol2, kmrn gw abis curhat2an sm tmen gw imel (seorang anak yg gw dulu temukan di Monash n cabut dr Monash College utk blajar make up di Martha Tilaar, dan VOILA! jadilah skrg dy tukang permak muka org2 jelek jadi lumayan.. at least kalo gw dandan gratisan dah, hehe.. n yg pasti gw jd punya penasehat hair n fashion, hehe) yaaaa biasa deh yg diomongin kita pasti ga jau2 dr makhluk planet Mars yg bner2 ngeselin n susa dingertiin (a.k.a laki!). hehe. pas lg seru2nya curhat, ngobrol2, ngakak2, geblek2an, ceng2an, guling2an.. =lebay= dy tiba2 blg..

imel : "lin lo tau ga model rambut baim skrg? (baim = lakiny imel) dy kan demen tuh gonta ganti model rambut yg aneh2, kmrn2 gondrong2 ga jelas, sempet kriting, dan skrg botak sbagian, trus ada bagian yg ky persegi panjang, blaa..blaa.. =kalo gw da ga bs jlasin brarti ngertikan eksotisny tu model rambut= hehe piss mel.."

gw : "..." =dengan bingung, gw blg= "emang dy mo ngapain si model rambut aneh2 gitu?"

imel : "itu gara2 cita2 dy nyet..."

gw : "oooohh tnyata baim mo jadi pnata rambut gitu.. ya oloo.. ane2 aje tu org"

imel : "kaga gila! dy mah cita2nya jd GANGSTER!"

gw : "...." "yayyaaayaaaaaa... pecaya gw..."

imel : "serius lin, die da blg bapakny lulus kuliah mo jadi GANGSTER!"

gw : "muahahahahhaaha.." =ngakak+bingung+ga ngerti+berfikir cita2 macam apa itu= piss lagi mel.. hehe

emang cita2 org tu aneh jg y. Ga jau2 ade gw si atlit buluditangkis yg super duper tomboy (Maya, 14) dulu pnah bercita2 jadii...

penganten..

ade gw yg pendiem kaya pmain pantomim (Linie, 16) kalo dtanya soal cita2 dy cuma bilang..

gw ga ada cita2..

ade gw yg plg seneng blajar mandarin (Miya, 9) cita2nya..

pelihara semua jenis binatang, dr mulai semut sampe macan.. fyi, si Miya dmen bgt ma binatang, semutpun dy mo pliara, favoritnya main ma buble anjing hiperaktiv gw, ma beli kura2, obsesi barunya beli anak ayam. skrg dah mendingan hobbynya krn lg menggandrungi PSP.

ade gw yg plg kecil yg galakny mlebihi macan laper =dan kegalakannya dpercaya kluarga krn bawaan shio nya dy yg notabene naga n kturunan nenek gw yg bawel= (Mega, 8) cita2nya..

jadi dokter, bantuin papa, pengusaha, dan msh banyak lagi.. kaya'nya buat dy ganti cita2 sesering dy ganti baju..

hueeehhhh..

weekend dan crita pantat

2008-08-03T14:53:00.000+08:00

weekend suram smuram muka gw neh.. hadoh. payah deh weekend ini, cm duduk dkamar menguruskan diri. Jarang makan gw cuy. ampun deh. maklumm. broken heart kalo kata anak muda jaman skrg. hehe. Untung ada si julie ma melcuy. kalo ga mate dah gw.. hehe. Mana pilek tetep mlanda idung gw yg eksotis ini. ahh bete!
Oiye. tiba2 gw ngrasa pengen pulang. ga tau neh napa, ada feel ga enak si actually. Smaleman jg absen tidur gw, feeling ga enak bgt.. huhu. ada apa yah?? apa mungkin ini proses mencantiknya muka gw, ato proses melangsingny pantat gw.. ato proses penguapan meler2 gw.. ahh tau ah..
Eh ngomong2 pantat, gw ada crita.. Suatu saat pas nykp n tante gokil itu dateng, gw absen gym, secara gw tour guide dsini n nykp ga ngerti apa2. (gw mo loncat ke kali nykp jg ikutan nyemplung kali. hehe) Trusss si del alhasil nge-gym sendiri, tiba2 hape gw yg berwallpaper muka gw nan jelita ini berdering.. kriingg.. kriiingg,, gw liat taunya si del yg nelpon. gw pikir ada sesuatu yg urgent mo diomongin. Taunya.. stlah gw angkat dy blg dgn super excited nya..
del : "lin, tau ga, ada kabar gembira nih buat kamu!"
gw : "apaan lagi nih pasti aneh2 de"
del : "ga kok lin, ini ada contest hadiahnya 15000euro plus kontrak menejemen model si eropa"
gw : "del, kalo ada tampang aku di majalah, yg ada org ga mo beli, lagian ane2 aj de =krisis pede= pdhal dlm ati 'jgn del, tar mkin bnyk yg ngrubungin gw.. secara dulu gw artis si komo' hehe"
del : "ga lin.. ini ga butuh2 apa.. ikutan yah, aku daftarin"
gw : "lah tunggu2, masa g butuh apa2?"
del : "lin yg dbutuhin km dah ada, yaitu PANTAT!"
gw : "..."
del : "ini contest to find the most beautiful bumps.. km pasti menang lin, ini buat iklan sloggi =merek clana dalem="
gw : "ssumpahhh yeee... najong lu! kaga!!!! gw kaga ikutan.. malu2in aje.."
dari situ del ga putus harapan, dy trus melobi gw, yg lbi para dy blg ke nykp gw, bahhh kacau dah. pas mkn, gym, di skola, ntn tv, strimin, diomongin juge. set dahhh. Kalo gw menang pasti ada yg aneh ni. kalo model2 lain yg dpajang voto close up muka nya, nah gw secara muka pas2an ky lucy liu gini.. masa yg di close up pantat gw doang..
pokokny gw ga ikutan!!!!

koko di singapura

2008-08-02T23:08:00.005+08:00

uit, slamat malam.
waktu Singapur mnunjukkan pukul 23:15.. Herannye gw yg kebo, biasa tdr jem 9 (menunjukkan kebiasaan baik yg diperintah orang tua kpd anaknya yg masi dbwh umur *hehe), jem sgini blom ngantuk juga. Ampun dah, gw da coba nyanyi2 ampe kering leher gw, voto2 ampe gigi gw kering, baca ampe mata gw kering, ga ngantuk2 juga.. pusing dah!
Well, gw lagi pilek nih, ky'nya sih gara2 ktepa del. Weleh, idung gw ampe brasa tebel, meler2, plus mampet kaya ktutupan upil selobang idung. lengkap dah pendritaannya. Btw, kmrn koko spupu gw br dtg. Kaget gw, secara dy tiba2 nelpon n blg bsk nyampe sg, spupu gw ini kerja ma bokap gw. Nahhhhh.. dy dtg ternyata dgn membawa norak yg cukup bkin gw senyum2 kalo inget. Masa nyampe2 Singapur dy sms gw bilang 'kok singapur panas ya na?' trus dgn bingung gw blg 'lah, emang harusny gmn?' dan si koko dgn polos noraknye bilang 'ya seenggaknya adem gitu, gw pikir malah dingin2 gitu, mana gw bawa baju lengan panjang aga bnykan lagi', dalem ati gw 'ya oloo, norak juga spupu gw, malu2in aje..'
Lanjutnye, knoraan dia tak berhenti sampai dsitu.. Kita janjian ktmu di Orchard jem 7an dlm rangka makan malem. Nyampelah gw di taka jem 7kurang, eeh dia tlp, nanya
koko : "Lina dmn?"
gw : "Uda nyampe taka dong, gw kan ontime, hehe, koko dmn?"
koko : "Dmana ya gw? mm, dpn luk..luc..kyy..plasa.."
gw : "oh yauda gw ksono deh di lucky plaza kan?"
koko : "iya, tapi skrg dah di dpn ngee ann city"
gw : "..." (bingung) "kan lucky ma taka sbrang2an, kok bs lgs nyampe? bingung.."
intinya taunya dy di air mancur dpn taka.. gw juga bingung knp dy bs nyebutin lucky plaza.. swt..
Then, gw, koko spupu, dan tman2nya mutusin buat mkn di IndoChine, sampailah ke bagian liat2 menu, tmen2 koko gw dah pada mo order, n gw nanya ke koko gw dy mo mkn apa, stlah lama liat2 dan bolak balik menu dy blg dy mo mkn steak, dlm ati gw prasaan di menu ga ada steak, trus gw blg "ko, ga da steak, lo baca menunya ga si?", ternyata.. dia ga bs bhs inggris, intinye,, dy cm asal psen doang. alhasil tmen2nye pd ktawa.. ampun dah si koko. malu2in aje.. trus ujung2nya dy makan.. nasi goreng..

Bugis oh Bugis..

2008-07-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

Okay, gw br balik dr bugis anterin nykp n tmennya yg gokil itu jalan2. Ini hari kedua beliau disini dalem rangka anterin gw laser mata. Senengnyaa dia ksini, secara kalo ada nykp dompet gw bakal diam terpuruk di pojok tas gara2 kaga bakal dpake. ATM gw juga bakalan absen dgesek2 slama sminggu dtambah lagi dompet gw krasa aga berat pas nykp balik. hehe. Tadi... pas kluar dr rumah gw brunding ma nykp n tmennya mo naek apa ksana, dan akhirnya kita mutusin naik MRT. Ini kali ptama nykp naik MRT, setelah bli ezlink (card yg bs di isi ulang buat naik angkutan umum di Singapore) kita naek kreta. Temen nykp dpt tempat duduk, tapi krn ga enak ma nykp gw yg bdiri, tmen nykp gw (sebut aja tante A) kaya' minta ibu2 dsblahnya untuk minggiran sdikit supaya nykp gw bs ikut duduk juga. Nah ibu2 itu walopun aga minggir, tapi dy pasang tampang super duper jutek ke nykp n tante A dan alhasil orang2 di MRT pada liatin gw krn dgn polosnya tante A ngmg dgn suara toa abis 'lina mau duduk juga ga?'. OH MAI GOD! malunyeee gw.. Mana masi 3 station lagi! aaaa, serasa pengen ajak nykp turun n naik bus/ taxi ajah. Well akhirnya, pas turun, gw lgs bilang ke nykp, 'Mah, jgn ikutin tante A ma, di Singapore kalo naik MRT ga bole bgtu, ga bole share tempat duduk, beda sama Indo', nykp gw blg 'ohh gitu, ok deh!'.

Kejadian yg menyita perhatian sbagian kecil publik Singapore itupun akhirnya berlalu dan gw pun jalan2 brg nykp ke Bugis Junction. Nyokap n Tante A liat2 dan berbincang2 lah kita,

Nykp : 'ni ada KFC makan disini aja..'

Gw : 'oh yauda, tapi ga ada nasi loh ma, gpp?'

Tante A : 'hah? KFC dsini kok bs ga ada nasi? emang org Singapore ga suka makan nasi ya? kok bs gitu ya?'

Gw : 'ya ga gitu juga sih, tapi ga tau deh knp bs ga ada nasi'

Tante A : 'ga ada nasi mana bs kenyang? Aneh ya orang Singapore..'

Gw : (dalem ati) =.=' swt..

Nykp : 'iya nih, kalo ga ada nasi kaya ga makan yah?'

Gw : 'yauda, skrg kita mkn di food junction aja, kaya' food court gitu'

Nykp : 'oh yg kaya di food republic kmrn ya? ga mau ah, rame2 gtu, kramean, ribet, susah, jgn mkn situ!'

Gw : 'terserah mama, mama mo mkn apa?'

ahirnya kita pun muter satu bugis, lewatin Mos Burger, Swensen, Crystal Jade, Toast Box, Lanna Thai, Burger King, Yoshinoya, makanan jepang, smuanya dah lewatin, cm ga ada yg nyantol satupun.. gw ampe pusing mo ajak kmana.. ahirnya dy blg, 'Udah, mkn mix rice aja itu yg disbrang Bugis', gw blg 'Yaudah deh'

Udah nyampe di kopitiam gt, dy pesen makanan yg isinya sayur smua. Mulailah dy mkn, dan dy blg 'apaan nih! ga enak! makanan Singapore ga ada yg enak!' buseetttt gw bingung dah mo ajak kmn. Susah abiss...

Sampailah waktu kt pulang stlah puas jalan2. Pas nyampe rumah dy blg

'Mama cukup seneng hari ini, jalan2 ke tempat yg ga ber-AC (Bugis Street), murah2 bisa liat2. Bosen di mall mulu. Dan yg paling bikin seneng hari ini itu gara2 kita naik kereta (maksud nykp gw MRT). Mama mau deh kmn2 asal naik kereta. Daripada kmrn, ke mana tuh? Suntec Mall, paling ga suka mama, capek2in jalan aja. Besok2 kalo kmn2 naik kereta ajah, udah cepet, bersih lagi. seneng mama dsitu'

haduhh.. capekde maa..

cerita tentang si mata dan si retina

2008-07-26T15:34:00.000+08:00

hallolohha..

well, ini pertama kalinya gw nulis di diari elektronik.

knp tertarik nulis di blog, soalnya ga mau dibilang gaptek ama si risa.

hehe. okei, gw linna. gw mempercayakan pendidikan d3 gw di sebuah institusi swasta Singapura.

Bulan Juli ini tuh bulan ke 9 gw di Singapore, dan slama gw dsini, nyokap bokap kaga pernah jenguk gw. katanya si ga brani ksini, secara.. nyokap bokap ga bs bahasa inggris n mandarin.

*kasian gitu kan kalo mreka nyasar di airport. (sigh! =.=')

Well, intinya tiba2 gw ngrasa ada yg ga beres ma mata gw

bisa ada benang2 muter2 di mata gw. ampun dah! dalem ati gw, ni apaan lagi? benang ga mungkin, cacing amit2, trus apa dong? pertanyaan itu terus muter2, lari2 dipikiran gw berhari2, bermalam2, berjam2, berdetik2, bermenit2 *lebay..*

sampai ahirnyee,, si delia housemate gw bilang

'lin, gw nonton pelem, trus ada anak autis gambar2 cacing mulu, pas di cek ke dokter taunya ada cacing2 gitu di dalem matanya.. mending lo priksa aja tuh mata lo, dari pada ntar knapa2, secara mata lo kan bagus linn, indah gitu.. eksotis. mencerminkan mata eksotis oriental gitu sayang kan kalo knp2.. ya ga?'

OOO MAIIII GOODDD!! panik dong gw langsung.. *walopun Del tu jujur bgt ma gw tentang keindahan mata gw.. ;p ya ga del?'

sumpah ye, gw jadi ga bs tidur.. gw mikirin, ni ada masalah apa lagiiii di mata gw yg indah ini.

hehe.

ahirnya gw memutuskan ke dokter mata di sbuah rumah sakit ternama di Singapore.

ni dokter mata uda apal sama tampang gw, secara gw sering abis bermasalah ama mata gw.

Dr Wong mulai memeriksa mata gw, dan tiba2 dia bilang dgn suara aga cemprengnya itu,

'Okay Marlina, your eyes got some problem, i see a crack line along your retina, and its quite dangerous, we need to take urgent laser, if not, i'm afraid u cannot see again..'

'whats??????????'

gw shock abisssss.... pengen nangis rasanya. bingung mo ngapain, ga bs ngomong,

cm bingung dan kaget.

ampun dah itu rasanya da kaya' dikejer ama burung dari seantero jurong bird park kali

kaget, tak percaya, ktakutan, mo nangis, mo lari, mo loncat, mo guling2.. aaaa pokoknya kacau abis prasaan gw.

ahirnya,, dengan prasaan karedok, gw telpon nykp n ngasi tau keadaan mata gw..

nykp bkp panik abis, trus pada g bs tidur de jadinya gara2 mikirin anaknya yg paling cantik ini.

*maav ya ma.. pa.. ngrepotin pikirannya huhu*

ya intinya, gw jadi di laser matanya senen tgl 28 July 2008. huhu. takutnyaa luar biasa..

masa si dokter Wong dgn senyum2 bilang *dgn bhs Singlish yg uda dterjemahkan*

'Linna, kalo matanya ga di laser, takutnya retakan retinanya bisa kmasukan air, trus layer retinanya bs copot, nah itu gawat sekali'

ya olooooo.. itu dokter terkutuk abis, ngmg kata2 najong kaya gitu dgn senyum2.

kurang ajar, dengan tampang nahan ktakutan gw blg

'trus itu bahaya ga dok lasernya?'

dia bilang,

'oh ga kok, tenang aja, ga bahaya, nanti saya CUMA bikin 5 lines di skitar retakannya'

dalem ati gw 'CUMA 5????? gile ye, 5 tuh banyak tauuuu'

huhu.

ya karna ini laser yg cukup berbahaya, nykp gw ahirnya membranikan diri ke Singapore bareng sama temennya yg super gokil, walopun dah tua, tmen nykp gw ini brani abis, jayus, ga penting, trus gila, dan tahan banting. manteb dah pokoknya, yg bikin tante ini dket ma nykp gw adalah ga lain dan ga bukan karna dy skampung. Maklum nyokap gw kalo dah ktmu orang skampung bisa seru sendiri ngobrol, kalo kata orang2 dunia serasa milik orang2 sekampung ini. hehe

mmm. ok deh tar gw lanjutin lagi.

mo pegi nih okok?

btw tengkyu loh da mau duduk diem di dpn komputer yg kata dr.Wong alasan terbesar knp minus mata bs mlejit.. hehe

c u!!!