no title

it's sunny day. i close every curtain tightly. now it's dark. i don't want to go anywhere today. im laying down with espn on tv, critics by critics, judging by judging i received, i'm tired of it. i have broken heart so i dont want to listen to another hard words. i just want to be alone.. sleep the whole day, and hopes everything gonna be better. i will laugh later when i heard something funny, if not, it's just too bad,,

love

every second past.. i become stronger woman. somehow. even i must past hard time alone. somehow when i simply scared of lightning when hard rain comes, i can't hold anyone. i can't said 'I'm scared' to anyone. because those anyone just busy for their own interest. everyone has their own interest. because of those loneliness, i'm not sensitive to others feeling, because deep in my heart, i just think that i have worst than yours. sometimes i feel that i've mentally ill. because no love surrounding me.. that's why now i know, how important love to be there in your heart everyday.. every hours.. every minutes.. every seconds you live..

beda bahasa?

medan oh medan.
i'm struggling with hokkien. everytime i heard that dialect i just can't understand. well, since Medanese speak hokkien in almost every occasion. They tend to forget Bahasa. then they speak bahasa in funny style..

balik buku.. balik halaman >>>>> helai buku..
mie pangsit >>>> mie fangsit
eskalator >>>> tangga berjalan
bell istirahat >>>>> bel main - main
gimana sih? >>>>> macem mana?
dll.. bnyk yg gw lupa..

so.. i don't know how i stop laugh when i heard those weird words. haha.

guilty yet happy

aku stress berat. soalnya main terus. makan terus di pira. trus ngrasa males n gak maksimal sama komitmen assignment n belajar nya.. tapi blm tlambat buat brubah! masi ada waktu buat bljr! sooo.. keep optimistic! ehehe
love people surrounding me. love nature. and family! love just makes you perfect! hehe
somehow, lo gak bakal tau, sbrapa lo sayang orang lain sampe lo jauh dari mereka. well, itu yang gw rasain ke parents, edu, n tmn2 gw. mreka berarti aja buat gw. motivator lebih tepatnya. karena (Mama esp.) gw bner2 brusaha buat bljr sungguh2. simply gw mo banggain mreka. maybe i'm not perfect, but at least i'm trying.

aku salah ahir2 ini, buang waktu sia2 untung having fun yg kelewat batas. now it's time to take responsibility and be stronger. berjuang buat ksalahan kmrn dan perbaiki nilai! love God with all of my heart, as well as to my fam, edu, and friends. GOD BLESS ME! AMEENN!!

lunch break

HALLO! blog ini LIVE! dari library monash. haha. well, i do nothing here, after doing 1 of a bunch of assignments i feel that i deserve to write blog and open facebook. haha. yeah this sem is ssoooo unbelievable. tougher. crazier. smuanya deh. lebih susah. lebih bikin stress. blom lagi gw yang super menggendut skarang. haha.
sekarang mungkin gw harus jadi orang yg baru, dengan spirit dan smangat yang baru juga. i mean.. perhaps this the best time to change everything. sometimes, we need to step out from our comfort zone. well, this what i'm trying to do now.. beeccaauussee.. no one need me now. so i stand alone in this big world. i'm fully responsible to my life, i take every chance and put that in my list. i do my best and i will shine. hahaha. well. at least i have dream okay, =)
i pray to God, may He kill every bad things in my life, prosper my day, and please makes me strong each day.. don't forget to gives me a reason to smile each minutes.
i'm not happy because i'm single. maybe to let go is the right way to say i love you (at least that sentence is quite appropriate for my situation). i'm happy cause may be he will better without me. i'm happy because.i i should be happy. if i'm sad, then everything will be bad. nothing will be better.
olrite. time to go to class. ttyl.

..

God.. tell me. which is right.. and which is wrong?

i'm confused everything in this world.. love.. life.. and religion.. God, i feel emptiness, can't feel anything. can't cry.. can't think clearly. may You talk to me, give me the way. i can't breathe God. i love him, but i can't do nothing, except let him happy. God, am i bring sorrow to him? am i that bad? i did something wrong? why i can't feel that? why can't i notice that? am i that innocent? or am i that dumb? hmm. this heart is like dust. still there but.. shapeless. i even don;t know what i need now.. what i want.. i feel empty. yess.. i feel empty.

brunch.

i did nothing yesterday. it was sleeping day :)

setelah sekian lama kurang tidur karna berkutat dgn assignment, finally kmrn puass tidur. tapi krn terasa janggal hidup tanpa assignment, pas tidur gw jadi gak tenang. mikirin.. ada assignment buat besok gak ya? ada assignment yg gw lupa bikin ga ya? ggrr. assignment minded drive me crazyyyy.. well. hari ini uda mulai msk skolah lagi. as usual. i'm hungry now! makan duluu.. =))

i need super big brunch! nyaam.